About four months after I made my Big Plan my BIL drank himself , for the umpteenth time, out of house/home/work and burnt his very last bridge. He called my wife balling and she offered to let him stay at our house. I agreed with stipulations, zero tolerance, look for work ect, and if the arrangement caused too much friction in our relationship he would have to go.
I was a little pissed at my wife that she would even consider such a thing with me so newly 'sober' , but I understand her reasons and loyalty to her brother , and she thought I could help ,so for better or worse I agreed.
Long story short(if its not too late already), we put him up (and with) for almost a year until it was apparent to all he was just using our benevolence, goodwill, and empathy for a ride and would take it as far as he could, as he had already done with the rest of his family, this was the last stop on the family train.
I explained how I ended my addiction and gave him a copy of Rational Recovery and let him know I was available to talk whenever he wanted.
Point being I was not going to change or fix him, never thought I could, but I do have to say that my AV took grand notice of situation and saw it as an opportunity to exploit . Who could blame me for a yummy relapse what with all I had to contend with , newly sober, leeching not quite dry BIL , just the daily complications of adults leaving under the same roof(especially the leechy moochy parts), wife pushing this on me yada yada ect.
But none of it had anything to do with my Big Plan , my BP was in place (still is) despite that time . I guess the point is a BP is armor plating against a return to drinking, against any arguing, negotiating, debating with the AV, the answer is always "No". I hear your AV , do you ?