Originally Posted by
Jenniferjenn 
Seriously going to AA is not an option for me.
Is living your life the way you are living it now a better option?
AA may not be "for you" but if you truly want to quit and get sober you will need to have a plan/program to follow. And whatever that plan is it will involve you doing things you are not comfortable doing.
There are many options - Detox, rehab( inpatient or outpatient), counseling, Meeting based recovery ( AA, Smart, Life Ring, etc ), self paced recovery( AVRT, etc ), even SR itself can be part of a sobriety plan.
But take a look at what you've written here - even though you know you shouldn't be drinking you do it anyway. That to me indicates that you are going to need some external help to get started. You could also call the samartians hotline being in the UK and they could get you directed towards some resources to get you started.
The good news is that anyone can get sober if they really want to...including you.