Ken, please take this as it is intended, with love, but when you said you were putting the emotional side of things aside I immediately thought "good luck, man."
Grief is a strange thing. I learned the hard way that you feel what you feel, when you feel it. If you try to rationalize it away ("we were separated for most of our marriage") or compartmentalize it (I don't have time for this), grief will come back when it darn well pleases.
It's ok to feel Ken. She was your wife. The ins and outs don't really matter to your heart. It's ok.