Originally Posted by
FeelingGreat 
Hey Iwish, you sound depressed. I don't just mean down because of your circumstances, but actually clinically depressed. You have good reason, but it should be possible to pull yourself out of this hole no matter what your RAH does. Please go and talk to your doctor and if he/she suggests medication for the time it takes you to get some pleasure back into your life, and have enough energy to work on your own ambitions, please don't reject the idea.
Your RAH is adding nothing to family life from the sounds of things, and if you 2 have no intimate life your marriage is going nowhere. You could both try marriage counselling, or if he won't go you could go on your own.
It seems you're so unhappy that something has to give and it's best if you have the chance to sort out your feelings with some professional help before you explode. Another idea is to try Nar-anon. I bet the people there will know exactly what you're going through.
I have thought about a doctor. Sometimes I wonder if I really am depressed. Sometimes I don't like that's what it is. Other times I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is depression. Back in the day when I was in grade school, I found that self infliction helped me or atleast made me feel better about stuff. My mom took me to a doctor to get meds in highschool. I unwillingly willingly went. Tried a few meds over time and I did not like any of it. Not to mention a pill I had to remember to take. I ended up stop taking any meds and quit smoking pot and cigarettes and stopped drinking and cleared my own mind and ended up being happier than ever before...all on my own. Not sure what happened..guess I fell out of that healthy pattern I was in. Oh wait, I was in my first real relationship of 4 years. After that relationship ended, I was happy again. And then this relationship...
So I'm not completely closed off from meds but I'd rather take a more spiritual, natural, homeopathic route, whatever that may be.