I have to thank you for your post! I feel like your saying all the things that are in my head! I guess that doesn't leave me in much of a place to help but I can tell you that I understand exactly what you are going through. With a newly Recovering AH, 2 demanding (yet amazing kids) a house you can't keep up with and what feels like a broken heart, soul, and marriage all rolled into one. I wish I had answers and I hope that through your post I can find some myself! It is a horrible feeling what your going through and I offer you my most sincere apologies!!! I can tell you one thing.... You are doing a good job! Even if every little job we do feels thankless and lets face it.... it is! It still keeps our families going. One thing I try to tell myself is that if I didn't keep doing what I'm doing then I would feel as though I failed my kids. They keep me going... I know that is very little conciliation for how our husbands make us feel right now and for the pain that this season and holiday now represents. I don't have an answer for how to fix that.... I'm sorry. I will be praying for the both of us to find some peace, some joy and some self worth. As much as we feel lost and unloved and unwanted and just plain invisible at times.... We are loved!! Our kids need us and depend on us and we are blessed with parents who know how hard we are working and how very tough things are... Try to sweep the negative feelings away the best you can, I know its hard!! Try to steal a few moments to yourself through out the day to catch your breath and regroup. I find that even looking at the peaceful face of my sleeping 5yr old can do wonders for me. It may make me cry too but sometimes that's good to do too. Again I'm so sorry you feel like you do and I will be lifting you up in prayer!! Thank you for your post!!! You definitely made me feel less alone!! Never give up dear you are far to valuable!!!
God bless you!!
Sarah