It sounds like you are functioning as a single parent with a grown-up who
is contributing nothing to the family
Is he supporting the family financially?
Perhaps in his mind this is "all" he is required to do?
I think I'd be angry and upset too. . .
Since he is now sober, maybe you could think about marriage therapy?
You cannot not get your needs met without exploding down the road.
That isn't good for his recovery either. . .
At least some therapy for yourself would be helpful.
What about making an appointment or going to Al-Anon?