He IS having an affair.....with drugs and alcohol. they are his first and only LOVE. not you, not the baby. he's bringing all that crap INTO the home, so has in a sense already set fire to what it SHOULD be - a safe haven.
he is NOT going to change. there is no happily ever after, no magic wands, no poof, all better. not with HIM. making breakfast is not the panacea, or the cure. that is one SMALL infinitesimal MOMENT. don't be fooled.
so why does HE get to call the shots here anyways? why do you look to HIM to make the first move, or make a change. it is time to take your power back and to make the changes. yes marriage is a sacred, but your husband defiled and destroyed that long ago.