nowinsituation

I recently came across the Facebook page of Sherrie Campbell, PhD. She posts an inspiring message every day, and every single one has seemed to be directed at just what I am feeling. Today's was so relevant, and I think it will also speak to many of us here:

"It is hard to know exactly when we have to face facts and stop taking spears. It is amazing how long we will endure taking pain in lieu of facing the facts of our situation. We do this in the hope of being able to work something out, but it is also a form of denial. The reality, or the facts, of a deeply embedded pattern don't change. We have to find the balance between learning the facts, accepting them, and finding out over time if they are changeable. When they are not changeable we will start to feel the pain of our situation outweighs our happiness. This is when we have to face the facts. Facing facts is painful. It is hard. It hurts. It hurts because we hoped so deeply the facts could change. When we finally face the facts, however, there is a certain relief. We were not missing the facts all along, we just wished they could have been different and so pretended they weren't all that factual. When the facts cannot change we have to be willing to let go and start again. Changing patterns is really hard, and many start the change but do not have the will or courage to deeply look at the facts enough to follow through with anything more than cosmetic changes. Under stress they go right back to the dysfunctional pattern and do not grow. Do not be this person. Have the courage to accept the facts and the pain that comes along with that acceptance. Step strongly into a future where you will not be taking on relentless spears of pain."