Well, Retroactive...
I used to dread my birthday - young years of exciting delusions are gone, and with every year this darn BDay is like a one-year harder punch in the gut - time is running out, hope is fading away, cemetery of dreams and goals got another fresh grave...
It was especially hard closer to the night - BDay was about to be over, a few calls from friends, nothing "like normal people have", and this chilling emptiness inside. And a "diligent right" to treat myself to a bottle of "more expensive than usual" wine and Champaigne to add was the only bright spot.
Now I have 3 wine-champainge-booze-poison-free Birthdays. They rock. I am not afraid any more. This year right on my BDay I got a job interview which turned into getting the job I absolutely love.
With emotions sorted out and constantly improving filter "what is really important vs what is conventionally accepted" I am less prone to melancholy and overreaction.
What is Birthday, anyway. A date, a milestone. My day - my rules.
So, you drank. You are alone. You a year older.
Now there's a new day.
Make it Day 1.
Then in a year you will find yourself in much better place. Sober. One year happier.
Give it a try. Keep posting.