Berrybean

I think we all tend to imagine other alcoholics with the idea in our heads of scruffy old men with a bottle in a bag and a string belt . I can promise that you will be relieved when you arrive. Most meetings I go to have a very varying cross section of people. I don't know what everyone does at my main meeting(s) but these are the things I do know. We have teachers (I am one); nurses; a surgeon; a counsellor; a social worker; a retired solicitor; a book publisher; a scaffolder; several jockeys; shop assistants; an optician; a map maker (who works for all the major museums in the UK); students; people actively seeking work; grandmothers; grandfathers; mothers; and fathers.

I have also met a handful of unemployed people who do not seem to be ready to find employment just yet, and who live in hostels. They live a sad and chaotic lifestyle now. Mostly this was not always the case for them, and they wish that they'd asked for help sooner, and not ended up with the rock-bottom that they did. Occasionally I've known one to become a bit grumpy when others are talking about problems with houses; cars; or holiday plans. I suppose it's understandable. But like I say - these people are in the minority in the meetings that I ended up making my regular ones (not because I was avoiding them - not at all - some of the first people to give me lots of help in my first meeting would come into this category and I will always be grateful to them, but I've moved to a different area now so rarely see them).

Different meetings tend to have a different feel to them, so it's worth trying lots and seeing where you feel comfortable. Some people travel quite a distance for meetings - my (now deceased) stepdad's sponsor often goes to the meeting in my city, even though its a good 45 miles away from his home (he helps at a local prison on the day of the meeting so he comes along after helping the alcoholic inmates there).

You can't guarantee that you won't run into someone you know in a meeting - but if they're there it will be because they also have issues with alcohol, so they will understand and you can expect them to respect your anonymity, and they will be trusting you to respect theirs also. There is an orange card at the meeting which reminds us: 'Who you see here; what you hear here; let it stay here.' and we are reminded of that at every meeting.

Please, seek the help you deserve. Our alcoholic voices are good at feeding our fears, encouraging us to stay in the problem instead of seeking out and living in the solution. If we keep listening to the lies our AV feeds us, and acting upon them, it just makes it stronger and louder. I try to think of mine as an irritating toddler griping on for something.

If it makes it easier, you can contact the helpline for your area. They can get someone (or your own gender) in your local area to contact you so you can chat about what to expect, where to find it, and maybe even meet you before the meeting so you don't have to walk in alone.