Originally Posted by
Camryn474 
I had a lot of cravings today but I thought my way through them. Drinking never lives up to the fantasy I have in my head. Thinking in terms of reality as opposed to what I THINK I can achieve by drinking is helping me. Seems obvious but clearly not for me as I thought drinking again would be worth throwing away six months sober.
Hi Camryn, I was thinking about this too yesterday. I was walking home from work and I was reflecting no how long more I will live in China before moving most likely elsewhere in Asia (I have lived in China for a few years).
Anyway, my AV gatecrashed the thought and got me thinking about how much I miss really good quality steak and how will I possibly be able to enjoy it sober without some red wine to wash it down (my ultimate meal in my old drinking state world). Not much you see, nothing nasty, just a couple of lovely glasses of a nice bordeaux or Malbec.
But it never played the tape forward as usual. Never painted the full picture. So let me complete the picture. Finish that bottle. Open a cheaper one and put on a DVD. Finish that one before the end of the movie. Put on coat, stagger out to nearest 7-11 and buy more. Either open a third one or move to beers to try to slow down. Pass out on the couch with the equivalent of three bottles of wine in my stomach. Steak long forgotten. Wake up at 3am. Stagger into bed and pester my wife. Get told if I don't stop I am back on couch. Go to sleep. Wake up for work with raging hangover, dizzy and anxious. Check my emails to make sure I didn't email anything drunkenly blunt to anyone at work (20% chance I did). Jump into the shower in a panic then off to work without any breakfast. Feel like crap all day. Probably skip lunch. After work, stop off in pub for a few beers to feel better. 50% chance stay there all night and 45% chance I leave after 4 and buy a bottle of wine on the way home. 5% chance I come to my senses and just have a couple and go home.
Thats the reality of what a steak and a glass of wine is to me.