Wheeling,
I do say hi and chat with "wheelers" as you call yourself. I do know you are invisible to most out in public. So it's up to you on that score.
I have friends with issues. My wheeler friends are not in pain anymore, and I don't doubt you are in pain one bit. That is the problem and the core of the dependency on pain meds and alcohol.
I am in serious pain too daily. Spine and neck. But I only take Naproxen Sodium, an NSAID. I did the alcohol self medicating and knew better than to do even one OxyContin when they were prescribed. Before that I was prescribed Lortabs took one and disliked it so flushed the rest. I took alcohol instead and was afraid of mixing. Once I was drinking like you.
So now you are in a wheelchair, and that is preferable to not surviving. But getting a gift like that, another chance, then going into the slow suicide of alcoholism just seems ungrateful for your life.
I have a friend who is 40 and has two kids and is a pain meds addict. His wife is in the military and he has had one thing after another for the six years I've known him. Being his friend was difficult because he was in no more pain than me. He knew I knew. I don't do codie so his tantrums and denial fell on deaf ears, I just say CYA later, I am late for my life. We became friends when I was still drinking from morning till night. I'm retired military and well educated, and didn't get alcohol as my one true faith until about five years before I quit.
I used to try to mask that I was just another alcoholic by calling myself a functional alcoholic. I compared constantly. As long as I could find others who drank more than me I found cause to dismiss my very dangerous addiction to just being happy. I KNEW AND CALLED MYSELF AN ALCOHOLIC BEFORE I GOT REALLY BAD. I kept myself in Cognitive dissonance. That is when your beliefs and your behaviors disagree. It causes distress, that must be relieved buy resolving the cognitive dissonance. We can only do one of two things. Change the belief (denial) or change the behavior (stop drinking).
You can easily decide if you are an alcoholic. Just stop drinking for 30 days. If alcohol does your pain then take any NSAID or see your doc for a non habit forming solution.
I did not lose my ability to walk. I merely was committing slow suicide and I'm not suicidal. So I signed up for a week detox in a hospital to be sure I didn't throw seizures and die or become disabled.
One thing you need to acknowledge. Sobriety forum here - are you trying to get sober and quit? How bad do you have to be before you look at the man in the mirror and in wee dark hours of the morning, wake up?
We've all been where you are. But why post while drinking here? If you aren't an alcoholic quitting for 30 days is a no brainer easy task. Go visit any children's ward and you will see sobriety is so easy even babies and children can do it without even thinking that they are depriving themselves.
If you aren't sure just try 30 days sober with your doctor's help in getting back to normal. See your natural endorphins are not being produced when we use substances that fill those receptors already. So it takes three days to detox but weeks of struggle as the endorphins start to flow again.
I wish you luck, and a quick path to awareness of where, and what, you are and want to be. Being wheelchair bound has nothing to do with that decision.
Talk to your doc.