Lol, Lexie. I guess they're not relationship 'woes', it's more about my inability to express myself and my fears that circle around rejection and abandonment. After years of mistreatment from my XAH, I still feel that my physical body and my mind and my heart react to things the way they used to even when someone's intent is not meant to be hurtful or cause pain. I have a very difficult time not being a martyr and I constantly have to remind myself that someone isn't doing something 'to me', they are just being who they are (and I'm not really referring to my boyfriend at this point: just people and my reactions to them in general).
And, because of this pattern of thinking that I have, I find myself working through a lot of self doubt and negative thinking. Telling myself that this man is crazy for staying with me. If he only knew how incredibly psycho my brain goes when one thing goes wrong and just how much thinking I have to put into asking for what I want or need in the relationship, etc.
So, it's not just about me not saying the L word, either. It's about me taming my potty brain and training it to see the good that right's before me and being grateful for exactly where it all is today and to stop future tripping, etc. Some of it, I'm sure, is natural fears for women in relationships but the amount of obsessiveness to MY thinking is what gets me into trouble. I am the expert at asking, "What if?"
Anyway, yes, you are right, we both express how we feel about each other better through actions and through the fact that we always make time for each other when we can. He's a good man and I love his kids. His oldest daughter, who's 9, will crawl up in my lap and lay on me while we all watch TV. Very sweet kids and I'm grateful that they enjoy my company, as well.