You need to get rid of that picture of the alcoholic collapsed under a bridge somewhere drinking out of a brown paper bag all day....sure, that is a reality for some. However, if you read around this site you will see that many of us...even in our darkest hours held jobs and raised families. In short, we held together more responsibility that you currently are yet we acknowledged that we were alcoholics.
Only you can decide whether or not you are an alcoholic. Based on what you have written you pretty much know you have serious issues with alcohol and maybe even dependency to some extent. Why not drop the drinking while you figure out the rest to be safe?