kboys......picking up on shootingstar's post...perhaps you could do a google search for Stockholm Syndrome.....and "trauma bonding". This might give you more understanding of why you might feel guilty.
Feeling guilty is pretty standard for someone who has been subjected to long term abuse.....both emotional and physical.
I am imagining that you may be rehearsing, in your brain, how you are going to "explain" your actions to him, down the road.....and, what his reaction will be...and how you will have to justify your reasons. all in the hope or fantasy that he will see that you had a right to do what you did.....
Or, maybe you are visualizing having to justify to others...parents, his friends,
etc.....that you will lo ok like the "bad guy".........That he will look "right" and you will look "wrong"........am I a little bit warm?
dandylion