Originally Posted by
atxjoshua 
...I felt so sad pouring out my best bottle of scotch. It's so messed up and irrational, how I could feel like I love this thing that just brings me pain, like it's a friend. I know it isn't. But that doesn't change the feeling. ..
I remember that feeling - some people liken it to the break up of a romance. Thing is, that friend is a sneaky; devious; backstabbing and selfish liar. And the worst of it (for me anyway) was, that false-friend alcohol not only made me miserable, it also encourages me to be just like It. I.e. a sneaky; devious; backstabbing and selfish liar.
At the moment the obsession for alcohol will still be one you. But, if you don't feed that obsession it will gradually lift. If you take a drink it'll be back with enforcements - the big downside to tapering suppose.
In the meantime, you can always make some new friends. Here on SR for a start, and maybe in a support group with a bunch of face-to-face friends who understand you; the obsession for drink that you're working through; and how mad sadness that you're feeling at the moment after saying goodbye to your false friend.
Things will get much easier, and much better. As long as you don't take that first drink.