Well he did tell me he was going to the doctor this week to see if they could give him something other than Xanax for his anxiety. He told me "I'm going to become an effing addict if I try to get through this on my own." Well isn't he already an addict, or no? I'm so confused. He was clean from drugs for 9 years and wouldn't even smoke pot. Now he admits to just wanting to be drunk and high and shut down his emotions and not have anyone count on him. He admits to doing things he never thought he would do again. Is that a relapse? Or is he just using some things in moderation to take the edge off his anxiety? I don't understand what is going on. If he says he is going to the doctor so he doesn't become an addict, does that mean he has control and is not overpowered by addiction now?
Thank you for your responses. I have no one to talk to about this. None of my friends or family understand at all. They are baffled by his words and actions and baffled by my strong feelings toward him despite what he has done. They don't get it.