Originally Posted by
Startingover444 
Yup. That was me. 6 years off the booze and right back to where i started in approximately 30 mins
Over and over again with pain meds too. The last time I took 50 pills by 4 in the afternoon and was STILL craving and that was after 6 weeks off
You see Startingover? I wasn't telling a big ole fat lie there!
You've experienced it and so have I! Well of course there's many that know me on here for the fact I'm not a liar and don't beat around the bush either! The slip ups along the way! The rush of being right back where we left off! Ugh! In a way it's very depressing knowing we can never partake of those things again or we're in trouble! But on the other hand? It's depressing at the thought of stopping them too!
We have to get past the depressing thoughts in order to learn how to live life w/o our DOC! I'm lucky in the fact I'm retired and I choose to do what I want to from day to day. I don't have to answer to anyone on a day to day basis anymore. Well I answer to the little feathered ones around here, but that's pure love! So I have no problem with that!
I have my good days where I get lots done around here. Then there's those days I want to do nothing but watch TV! I watch a lot of the older stuff now. It amazes me how much I missed in them while strung out on pain meds! Truly frightening! Makes me wonder how much I missed out on in real life? I just existed while on the pain meds! I wasn't actually being an active part of the day to day life!
My mom has been telling me stuff about the old days here lately. Thank God I'm clean and awake now. Hopefully I can remember what she's telling me now that I'm not in a brain fog anymore? My mom has a memory like an Elephant! She remembers everything! Just blows me away!
My brain was slowly being pickled while I was taking those damned pain meds! Slowly shriveling up into nothingness! It's frightening to think about how long I was on those pain meds! I'm so happy I woke up somewhere along the way and said: "Enough is Enough!" I have over one year clean, but the honest truth about those days is it's really only day one for me! One slip up and it all goes away! So I'm hanging around on day one whistling my way thru life!
Time under our feet off our DOC is real important though! The longer we are off the crap the better WE are! So time does matter for those clean days!
TOD