Hi all,
So here is my update. I like being sober, no question, who wouldn't, but after nearly 7 months, I also miss drinking. I miss the camaraderie, the social side. I also miss turning off, going from 100mph to 0 within 10 mins after coming through the door. I miss the effect that alcohol has.
I am absolutely not remorseful because it is completely my choice and I don't feel deprived or tempted at all because I also don't miss all the utterly bad things about drinking. There is a lot I now love about my life that was in tatters before. I suppose what I am saying is that I would like to have the best of both worlds. If it is a binary choice then I choose to be sober no question but if I could choose to drink a bit then I would do that.
I am not sure where all this is taking me, but I won't end up capitulating or 'accidentally' having a drink or whatever. I am not considering all of this because I am stressed because I wouldn't use alcohol to relieve stress any more - that much is clear to me. I have also read all the AVRT stuff and it's a nice way to box in such thoughts if you want to.
Maybe the bottom line for me is that it's ok just to miss certain aspects of drinking just like you miss certain aspects of a person with whom you had a failed relationship, and with whom it would never work out.
This isn't an urge just - we only get one life and I want to enjoy as much as possible, having gone too far with alcohol can I now not go too far? I know a lot about wine and have always enjoyed it, for example. Do I never want to drink it again? No. Could I if I had to? Easily, but then I don't want to regret not having done so.
I am going to think about this some more. Thanks for letting me write up these confused thoughts.
Best wishes
OMD