Originally Posted by Neverthought

We're all saying the same thing over and over. Why do I feel this way? Why do I have to drink in excess? What I am abusing myself? Why would I take a few hours of drinking to destroy what was a wonderful day prior to. Add to that, the price I pay the next day.

Lately, I've had days in which I didn't drink all day. And I'm thinking, I'm in the clear, alright. Then like a zombie (I've referenced zombie from past posts) my heart starts beating and I feel some excitement rush over me and I get in the car. Well, I don't think I have to tell anyone what happens when you condense a typical evening/nights consumption into about 2 hours because you have to go to bed and work in the morning.

Now, that's an addiction, a disease.

Can I help myself or do I need help? I think I can do this on my own. Am I taking a risk with this mindset? I'm only going to get so many chances.

I'm lucky I am healthy right now. Please don't take that for granted. I'm 45.

I hate calling this a disease because everything I've learned while growing up and reading about disease doesn't seem to correlate with alcoholism. But it is and we're lucky because it's curable by abstinence.

I will practice what I preach and I will not look back.