I do so enjoy our random small talk. I hope no one minds but I wanted to post about drinking.
I'm still on the pill. I felt challenged yesterday. I'm sure it is nothing like those of you who can't or don't take the pill. I can't just get the urge to drink and then drink so my temptation is more like, "Do I want to drink a week from now...." Much easier question than, "Do I want to drink right now?"
Last night I was tempted to stop taking the pill. Over the holiday my family and visitors have been drinking every day. Very reasonable amounts mind you. No obnoxious behavior. So I feel like I should be ok with it. I am. Sort of.
Last night was different though. Last night there was more than moderate drinking and some obnoxious behavior. So I started thinking, “Now I have the right to quit taking the pill.” Then I thought about what you all might say.
Of course I have the right to drink, if I want. But what would that solve? We would just have me being obnoxious too. And of course I would not be moderately drinking, even on day one. And of course I’d be back to high anxiety, doing brain damage, being a bad example for my children, spending extra money on poison I don’t need, etc. This is what you would say, right?
So I took the pill again today.
When I started this run of sobriety, I posted that I was 51% wanting to quit and 49% wanting to keep drinking. Now feel like I’m more 75% wanting to stay sober and only 25% wanting to drink, a week from now.
Ok, sorry for the interruption. Back to more important things. Hawk - I have a sliding glass door that opens onto an almost flat roof. I put bird seed there and wow! I get a real close up show of nice birdies eating their seeds and nuts together happily and then mean birds poking and jostling for seeds. I also have multiple suet feeders. Multiple types of woodpeckers, nuthatches, finches, red breasted grosbeaks, orioles in season, others too numerous to mention. All great entertainment.