Lexie-very true....again, we here spend so much time thinking "what is he?" so we can fit it into a box and figure it out and understand it-well, at least I did this for a long time. I have no idea if my ex is NPD-I do not think so but I joined a narc support group bc the behaviors are so strikingly similar. You are right with patterns of abuse....and escalating behavior-I am not discounting that at all.....just that threats from alcoholics are usually baseless and empty and come from their desire to eliminate anything that gets in between their drinking or anything that tells the truth about them. I do agree with you, Lexie....sometimes the best thing to do IS run...just depends on who you're dealing with.