Forourgirls, thank you so much for that link. I forwarded it to my SIL, who is still dealing w/my brother's antics and efforts to control and bully her, even tho they have been divorced for several years now and he moved to Canada w/his GF 2 years ago! Currently he is in a rage b/c she finally sold the house, as they agreed she would, and he is receiving NO proceeds from it, due to money he borrowed from her and did not pay back as well as support, tuition, etc., that he has not paid over 3 or 4 years either. He kept no records of any kind, saying "I trust her to take care of all that", and now that the chickens have come home to roost and he doesn't like the result, he thinks he can do the monkey dance that has worked so well on her for all the many years before this. (She is an ACOA and a nurse--can you say "hotbed of codependence"?)
I've got news for him--it's taken her a long time to pick herself up, but she DID sell the old house (that he built), she has been paying for the girls' tuition and so on all by herself for the past few years when he was busy cheating on one GF w/another, and she's DONE w/him. I can only hope that the current GF will observe the monkey dance (she is a smart cookie) and get a clue before she ends up getting hurt too.
Again, great post, thanks for the link to that article.