Welcome to forum
Great title for the post btw, especially the "so far" because it touches on the idea that we can decide to be consciously in control of what comes next, how to engineer the rest, our ability to use Now and every day going forward , to go forward
We get that what we've done in the past doesn't work to build a happier healthier way to be so going backward certainly won't help , although at times it feels like we just can't quite get to the point to make going forward 'work'.
But all that comes from the addiction trying to hold on and stay around , you Do Not have to let It. You can decide to leave it behind for good.
Learning about RR and AVRT when I found SR really resonated and helped me to decide to leave it all behind. There are some great threads about those ideas in the Secular Connections forum here on SR, I recommend checking them out.
Log in often ,ask, post read wish you well and hope to,see you around
You can make the parts after 'so far' awesome , you really can, rootin for ya