I forgot to say that after my hubs came home from the hospital, my doc started weaning me off the xanax...thank goodness because, later in life I really found out what benzos were all about eekkk!
I've always been a lightweight when it came drugs ( when everyone else took 1, I took 1/2 w/the same results. And I've wondered if every withdrawal I've experienced was really, really bad ( & I mean bad w/a capital B! ) When I was younger, my bff & I were roomies and also, worked at same place. We would do out and party & she had absolutely no problem getting out of bed the next morning. Me, on the other hand, no sir, there wasn't a soul alive that drag me outta bed. I started working 2nd shift lol.
Before I continue w/this little mini autobiography, I'd like to let you know that the yrs I'm writing about are my happy yrs. Life before the age of 27 sucked lol ( abusive upbringing & abusive 1st husband. ) So though we've had many trials, the in between times were wonderful!
And to continue where I left off, by the time my hubs was well enough to work again, we were in the midst of loosing our dream home. I couldn't keep up the mortgage payments ( or the car payment ) by myself I could only work part time.
So we moved to my hubs hometown & started new. Both got jobs, a new car later, Our kids were all in school, so we didn't have to pay for childcare. We had always worked opposite shifts because I didn't trust a stranger to my kids. We also filed for bankruptcy & started to build our credit back up. Life was good! For a yr!
A yr. after we made a new start, we both became ill again.
One day after work, my hubs complained he'd been having trouble seeing all day. So I took him to the hospital. They didn't a blood test & his blood sugar was over 900! The doctor couldn't believe my hubs could even walk. Further testing by a specialist determined that he had Brittle Type 1 Diabetes. I didn't know then, but our life as we knew it was about to drastically change.
I had never even met a Type 1 Diabetic, much less a Brittle 1. My hubs had all sorts of trouble trying to manage his blood sugar. It was all over the place! As low as 30 & as high as the meter registering high ( which meant it was over 800. )
When his sugar went to low, he had no idea what was going on, completely outta his head. It was up to me to try & get some sugar in him, either through juice or peanut butter & jelly ( which he doesn't like. )
I wasn't very successful the 1st couple of yrs. & had to call 911. Now, his sugar went too low almost daily. In the 11st 2yrs., I called the ambulance over 50 times! Yes, I said 50!
I forgot to say that his doctor thought he got Brittle Type 1 Diabetes because of the government experiments we gave him when he had ARDS.
About a 1yr. into the madness that was our life, I started having panic attacks. Off to the psychiatrist I went. She gave me xanax, which helped at 1st. But, then I needed more & more, so she switched me to klonopin.
My hubs ended hospitalized 2 more times in critical care for Diabetic Ketoacidosis, which sent me into a tailspin both times.
We made it through those 1st couple of yrs., but all our hopes & dreams were dashed. Before he got diabetes, we were rebuilding credit w/the plan to buy another home in a few yrs ( 1 we could afford if 1 of us got sick. ) That was probably the toughest thing for me to handle, loss of dreams.
I'm finally nearing the end of my story, but not quite yet. A Ty after my hubs got diabetes, I was having a very hard time getting through even 2hrs of work. I loved my job. I was in charge of the brick bracelet department at Salvation Army thrift store. The head manager gave me 2 employees to work in that department. And now, I was unloading the majority of the work on them, which I felt very bad doing ( I had always worked right along side them. ) They were fine w/higher workload, they told me, but it was really hard to do that to them.
I went to my doctor & diagnosed w/Fibromyalgia, by process of elimination. Now both my hubs and I were disabled, by our late 30's. Talk about feeling hopeless. It took many yrs of therapy to learn to readjust our dreams & aspirations. But, I learned to set my sights a bit lower lol. I had also been put on methadone at this time. Klonopin and methadone, what a combo ( which, even though I signed a contract not to sue if I died, from my doc every yr., I really had no concept how dangerous the combination of meds I was on.
There's a few things I left out, such as my hubs entering a psych ward 3 times. He didn't handle the changes he went through from diabetes & also loosing his dreams, not once ( w/our 1st home ), but twice.
But, I'm very happy to say God has gotten us through every obstacle. I'm so grateful to Him. I also believe the more diversity one faces in life, the more one is able to handle anything that comes their way!
The End (( Hugs ))