Hi Sean and Welcome,
I'm glad you found us. I'm sure you're not a bad guy at all. It's what alcohol does to us that causes so many problems in our lives. Have you had counselling when you were in the mental health facilities? I wonder if therapy or counselling could help you because it seems there must be underlying issues that you need to deal with.
It sounds like you would need to do a medical detox, but we're here to support you if you're ready to stop drinking.