The kids and I live in a house that my inlaws own - we have lived here for several years. I hesitate to explain more because of identifying information... Housing is not an issue - we can stay here pretty much indefinitely if we choose to.
AH and I don't have many assets - again, I hesitate to say more.
I did talk to a lawyer over the summer, and she was very kind and helpful, but she kind of scared me with talking about court, judges, etc. It's just something that I don't know if I can deal with right now.
No, he's not really in a position to fight for custody. He's a trainwreck. What I would WANT is sole custody with supervised visitation, but that sounds like it would be harder to fight for.
I knew that things were going to come to a head at some point, and my therapist had been helping me to prepare for that eventuality. But what ended up happening was far worse than we had thought possible. I never thought he'd screw up enough to lose his job - he worked in the (very profitable) family business. His cocaine use and the draining of our finances was also unexpected. Then finding out about the affair (with someone I had known and liked) was the icing on the crap cake.