Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
One other thought--you said you were afraid that getting the order would make him angry and you were afraid of what he might do. Isn't it pretty clear by now that you can't make him NOT be mean, violent, and abusive by what you do or don't do? Doesn't he simply engage in that behavior because in the moment he is displeased by something? He was "nice" for a couple of days because he figured he would lull you into letting him stay. The minute you repeated what you had already said to him (that it would be for a "couple of days") he acted all shocked and indignant and the abuser came right back out from behind the nice mask he was wearing--for as long as it suited his purposes.
This is a really good point. I also worried constantly about "setting him off." It took me a long time to realize that something is ALWAYS going to set him off, no matter what.
You enforced a boundary and he immediately turned on the abuse. Because it's not about drinking or anger or him learning to control his temper. It's about entitlement. He behaves this way because it has always gotten him what he wanted. My ex was the same. It's a pretty nice deal for the abuser. They get to say/do/have whatever they want, the whole household caters to them (because they're afraid not to) and they get to feel like a superhero because they clean the house once a year.
Don't beat yourself up. A big part of my recovery has been to forgive myself for accepting so much unacceptable behavior. And he's gone now. And it didn't cost you a dime. Plus you got a clean house out of the deal. So this could have been much worse.
On the serious side, stay safe and don't be afraid to take steps to protect yourself and the kids.