Hi TnTPoP
I think many of us can identify with 'being lonely in a crowd'.
I was that way all my life.
When I stopped drinking though I decided to stop trying to fill the void, and focused instead on healing it.
A little counselling helped me, as well as opening up and asking for help from those closest to me.
I was so afraid of being hurt I'd put up walls around me all my life - I'd done it for so long I wasn't even aware I was doing it.
I'm sure your wife and kids love you - I think that's something you can trust in, even if trusting is a hard thing to do.
D