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Old 11-30-2015, 04:55 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
honeypig
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I too think Mike's plan is a good one. I got a sponsor very soon after starting Alanon, and I didn't use a careful method like Mike's to figure out whether I was making a good choice. I just picked someone who seemed to have it together. I asked no questions, didn't "interview" for the job, and ended up w/someone who was averse to email communication or really anything online, even using the meeting directory (clearly I'm very comfortable communicating online). The time she had available for me was after 8 PM, and I was working a job where I punched in at 2:30 AM. She was not a bad person at all, but she and I together were a very poor fit. I simply didn't know how to go about finding someone who WAS A good fit. And then since I had chosen poorly, I had to summon up my courage to UNdo the commitment, since I didn't see how this was really going to work for either one of us, and I was uncomfortable w/THAT, too (altho now I understand that I didn't need to be).

I've been sponsorless for the nearly 3 years I've been working on recovery, and if/when I do look for a sponsor again, I will definitely use something along the lines of the plan outlined above to make sure it's going to work out for both sponsor and sponsee.

Also wanted to add: I'm glad that Mike mentioned having several sponsors over the years. It makes total sense to me that as a person heals and evolves, they may need/want a new sponsor to help them thru that new stage of growth, and there is nothing wrong w/that.
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