Step12

I like posting on the newcomers. I haven't been going to meetings for over five years. This is not about going to meetings but I have recently gone back and I've also been posting on here. When I first found this website I thought it was a place for me to help people LOL truth be told I have found it very healthy for me. When I first came on here I think I offended some people with my aggression and desperate state of mind. I was very angry and my life was nothing but fighting and irritation. Since I've been back talking to other alcoholicsI have regained some serenity. In a sense I am a new, I've been sober 10 years tomorrow. This really is a disease you don't heal from. Although all I've learned in my early sobriety stuck enough for me to not drink I've been very restless. Staying sober is so much more than not drinking. I've made a lot of people easy to anger. People that are in my life so every time I open my mouth they expect a fight. Since I've been on here in since I've been going to my meetings I have chilled out so much. I like to read what newcomer say because it helps me remember where I came fromand helps me relax when I can reach out. I could easily go to old-timer 12-step forms but this one is where I am emotionally. I need to be reminded and I need to help others. Since coming back I realized I do have some really good sobriety I just haven't been letting the miracle work in my life. When I read replies I see that there are some really good things. There are a lot of similarities that just back up what I've already learned I like seeing that there is consistency in our world. All of a sudden I don't feel like fighting anymore. All the sudden I know what to say again. All of a sudden I don't have depression and hate myself. All of a sudden I can say for other people's judging and mean behavior toward me. Without talking to other alcoholics I'll pick a fight with anybody that crosses my path. I have to be in control all the time and that is alcoholic behavior. I have these my spiritual toolbox to remember I have no control. That's when the miracle happens

I need a newcomer form to benefit myself by sharing and listening. Thank you