Originally Posted by
Beccybean 
When I was looking at the parts of my inventory that dealt with abusive people, the thing my sponsor told me to look at was my part, and what caused it. Well, I decided, my part was in taking my fear and turning that into a resentment, and allowing that anger / rage to poison so much of the rest of my life, and so many other relationships.
Yes that is very well said, and I did the same thing.
My part was in placing myself if certain situations because my pride and selfishness meant that I would refuse to let anyone help me because I thought I knew better than them, and because I was actually trying to get something out of situations myself, and treating people badly by objectifying them, and that backfired badly for me. I'm not saying that I deserved the abuse that I was subjected to, but I was could acknowledge my parts in how things unfolded.
This took me a while to see, too, until someone explained to me that it's not that I had a part in the abuse; but I had a part in the resentment of it, how I reacted to it, how I still carried the anger, etc.
It didn't result in an 'amend' in Step 9 but it had had an impact on how I resolved to move forward as far as loving relationships were concerned in the future earlier on in my step 4 work. When looking at my Future Sex & Relationships Idea, I resolved, for example: to set boundaries in my relationships, and actually tell others involved what those boundaries were; To say 'no' , even if it might mean risking them thinking badly of me; To take care of myself as an adult by not ever again being a drunken wreck of a sitting duck; To remove myself from toxic people; To not objectify people but be mindful of their feelings, and not treat relationships or people as a source of entertainment or excitement; .... etc. etc.
I have to look at this some more. I don't think I made a connection between my ideal self list and my resentments. It sounds like you got what you were supposed to get out of it. I don't think it's clicked for me yet.