Alone and peaceful is priceless. I'll take it every day of the week. I am ACOA as well (alvoholic father) and I had lots of stuff from my childhood-I still carry it but I see it for what it is and have tools to work through it. Most, if not all, of the people I know that are women, with alcoholic fathers, have major fears of abandonment and will stay with an abusive partner longer than em they should bc they keep hoping he will change-kind of what we grew up knowing...so we just do what we know until we know better. I think you're starting to know better, Red!!
Envisioning a life without the crap he throws your way-that looks like a pretty good life to me.
Goodnight!