Originally Posted by
stevieg46 
Was told a story once .
Parent has a child normal n loving n kind , then one day the same child develops all sorts of unruly and unacceptable behavior , becomes aggressive some violent tantrums spitting in faces cursing swearing and totally out of control .
Parent stops taking child anywhere because of embarrassment and being forever getting showed up in public . This carries on for a number of years until one day the child starts to show signs of returning to its former self , after a while the child recovers and gets on with life .
Parent gets asked '' did you forgive your child for all the years of unruly behavior ? '' parent replies '' of course I didn't as there was nothing to forgive '' the child was ill and was not to to blame in any way .
I was told the story years ago as I was ''incapable and unable '' to ''forgive myself '' I believed it was an excuse to simply justify or find a reason for my behavior by saying I suffered from an ''illness '' .
Thank you for sharing that. It helps to put things into perspective.
To God you don't need to try and make amends as God is fully aware of your faults and defects , you have no need to '' forgive God ,he forgives you ''
That's a good point. We are already forgiven. And I guess by working my program every day, I'm making living amends to God.
If you learn to accept that you were suffering from said illness and learn to forgive yourself ''first and foremost '' you must then learn to '' forgive yourself for our actions against others '' this is not an ''EXCUSE'' it is a fact not a way out .
The way you stated this is really helpful. It just wasn't clicking with me.
And the last line you wrote above reminds me of something I've heard many times in my meeting--you don't just say "sorry"; you change.
By moving on to direct amends list , firstly if you have forgiven yourself firstly , then it should not upset you if you do not get the response ''you '' were hoping for ! it is not ''your will '' its gods will .
I think you figured out what my issue was. I hadn't fully forgiven myself.
Wisdom to Know the Difference '' there are people sometimes even family who are completely live and think in a opposite way from what we are trying to maintain and achieve , they could be spiteful ' nasty 'violent ,totally unreasonable and deeply set in there justifications and rationalizing ? unfortunately people who exist like this are ''unteachable '' and I believe a '' simple sorry '' is sufficient , no explanations, or reason is enough , we need to ''detach ''from these people ,let go ,or let go with love .
Yup!
What does "let go, or let go with love" mean?
People who ''abused ''you resentment is the number one offender and I don't think you need make amends to them , what I know from personal experience is that you need to learn '' not to hate '' takes time but it will happen , then again ''detachment '' no longer living rent free in your head .
Wow. This was interesting. I know I'm supposed to view these people as being "spiritually sick" and that what they did/said was not personal. I like "not to hate" vs "love and tolerance". that's a good step. Detachment would be awesome. I think I'm making some progress there, but I'm not yet detached. They still get stuck in my head.
I had to learn to ''love ''myself ,if I don't love myself its impossible to love others , love God love yourself love your fellowman .
That is such a good point. Again I think that will be key for me right now. God forgives me and loves me. I need to remember that.
