I have a feeling that there are many versions of how to use the steps. A lot of what people say here directly contradicts what I was taught.
For me being open and honest, connected to something larger than myself, and placing myself in the service of others is what helps. Those are my principles. Taking action rather than letting anger/resentment fester is also very important.
In spite of my previous post, I really do not think I could ever do it the 12-step way and keep quiet about the struggles I sometime have even though that is so important in the first step. It is not a principle that works for me. It goes against the openness and honesty with which I try to live my life--and which are foundational to my recovery.
Of course the challenge is, what do I do over the next few days. One of the most frustrating things in 12-step recovery was a lack of practical support when dealing with cravings. The only suggestion was prayer and step work...and so I would try to pray, then work on a fourth step (since it is the first one in the BB that had clear instructions that one could follow at any time), which really did not help.
But here I am going through the same thing. I used other people for practical support even though 12-step recovery told me not to. They said that it would lead me back to drug use. And here I am without anyone to talk to and I worry that they may have been right. Being dependent on support for others means that when they are not there, you are left to your own resources.
I don't want them to be right. I don't want to think that I have been doing it wrong by calling on human aid to get me through the rough times. But I am afraid.
Of course here I am on a website asking for help and talking of my troubles in a way that goes against the the steps. So I guess I do believe my way really can work.