These family members are sort of addicted to power and control. I fear an amends, especially in person, would give them that which they crave, vs setting them free. Or maybe it would somewhat set them free.
Imo, it`s your call. Maybe ask around for more advise?
This is what confuses me most. When is it "spiritual or emotional injury to myself", and when is it "my not being able to forgive a sick person"??? I'm underlining this because I think is truly the key question.
Like much of the AA program it is open to interpretation. How about sending an email and feeling out the situation before getting in too deep? Or if you truly feel it`s not wise or healthy to contact them then pass on it.