Can I just ask - are you making your amends list using your Step 4 inventory now? (Just asking because sometimes people ask about things ahead of the step they're working on).
When I prepared for my amends I worked through those Step 4 lists (amazed that actually the list that had generated the most amends for ME to make was my resentments inventory lol). I used little filing cards and wrote the name a nature of my harm on the card and underneath, what I needed to do to make amends. If I didn't know then that was one of the things I discussed with my sponsor when I'd done what I could on the cards. Some of these she advised me to make living amends - by resolving to change my behaviour in the future.
I've heard many people say about putting your amends over 3 lists - now; one day; and never. They all say that by the time they'd worked through the 'now' list they were ready to start on the 'one day' list. And by the time they'd done the work on the 'one day' list, they were ready to start on the 'never' list. Their willingness grew and their fear subsided as they worked through the list.
You say that you'd rather not contact your sponsor while she is stressed - can I suggest that you ask someone else to be a temporary sponsor to help you with your amends list if this a serious and ongoing situation. Although, you might find that helping you with some of these things would actually give your sponsor a break from worrying about her own problems - it works that way sometimes
I found the 12 and 12 really useful in getting my head round all the steps, and this one is no exception.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step9.pdf
There are also some really helpful speaker recordings that might help mull over things more...
AA Step 9 Speaker Tapes | RecoveryAudio.org