NoInsanity-thanks for your words-and sharing. I often wondered if my ex was just narcissistic bc of alcoholism or if they were two separate issues...doesn't really matter. My ex was the same way-some days telling others how much he loved me and then verbally abusibg me behind closed doors-but always keeping his mask on in front if others-and labeling me the crazy wife. NOW THAT is textbook abuse 101. I agree with other posters-the majority of abuse is covert-abd the abuser justifies it by tearing you down.