Originally Posted by
Fly N Buy 
LiveInPeace - I found that when I was uncertain about some of the things you've posed, I simply paused and just let time go by. God will reveal the answers to us - I don't react to what flesh tells me to do once I've asked God for guidance. I wait for His answers, which may come today, tomorrow or 20 years from now - if ever.
Thank you for your post, Fly N Buy. :-) You're absolutely right. I know this is what I'm supposed to do. In fact, I'm sure somewhere on this board I've probably said the same thing to others, but I don't do it myself often enough. Fear keeps me from doing this. It's hard to explain. I get in this place of tremendous fear, and that keeps me from being able to reach out to God when I need Him most. I fear I won't be able to hear his answer. I fear sitting in silence. I fear I'll misunderstand His guidance. It's hard to explain.
I love the reminder that the answer might not come for 20 years. I keep thinking I have to hurry up and make all my amends now so I will be free and feel the 9th step promises and not relapse.
As long as I am willing, that's the key I have found.
Have you found that your willingness is effected by fear? I know this means I haven't fully surrendered, and that I am not trusting and relying on God the best I can. I wish I knew what I have to do to get to that place.
Glad you're here with us, you bring tremendous spirit to our corner of recovery - thank you
Thank you for saying that. :-) I know my posts are long sometimes and I was hoping I wasn't a nuisance here.