Dimndaruf....I am, also, in agreement with the commentaries that you have already received.
I will just add this: When you change a behavior that others have come to expect from you-----you will always get a reaction from them....
If they do not like the "new behavior".....they will usually intensify their pushing of your buttons....doing what always "worked" before.....except with more frequency or intensity. .....
There is not much you can do about that...except to maintain your own boundaries until they wear themselves out.....and just stop trying to get you to change back.....
They may express a lot of anger toward you....or become very critical of you....or any number of maneuvers....just l ike your h usband is doing.....
This will probably be the hard part for you....learning that it is his problem if he gets mad....Remembering that the world doesn't come to a stop just because he is unhappy. He is not the king of the forest.
Change can be very hard....at first. But, it seems that you are realizing that change has to take place.....
I am soooo glad that you are wise enough to get some support for y our son.
It is the right thing to do.....and, you will never regret it.
dandylion