You know Zoso, that's sort of the thing I'm struggling with. I don't feel responsible for his actions and decisions. I don't feel like there is a thing I can do to make him change his mind. It's his decisions. I guess the push I could have used was one pushing him out the door a little sooner.
So I guess that's the crux of what I'm wrestling with. I was willing to tolerate him as long as I did, then I got him out the door to rehab in another state when it was too much. We talk occasionally, he's working on himself, I'm working on me. I'm angry that it got to that point again after a previous stint in rehab, and I'm pissed that it cost me what it cost. But I don't feel regret that I didn't "get him into rehab" or "keep him from drinking/using." I know that's not my job, that's not my responsibility.
I'm angry for his destructive actions, they hurt. But I don't feel guilty. Does that make sense?