Amanda......"common sense" might tell a person that being an alcoholic in recovery, oneself, would make the process easier.......but, all that I have read and seen tells me that this is not true. (I am not alcoholic, myself). I am the loved one of a family member who is alcoholic.
You will find your "story" repeated, over and over, in the volume of real-life experiences, here on this forum.
Another observation, of mine, is that---dealing with an alcoholic who is not a part of your inner circle is a sea mile different than dealing with someone who you have close, intimate bonds with.....like a husband.....
With someone that your personal life is intertwined with...your own fears, insecurities, goals and ego needs are at play.
Basically, I think that means that in the end, you become just like anyone else who is in the position of dealing with a loved one's alcoholism......
Alanon is there for you, if you choose. It, among other things, will help you to develop that inner strength that you referred to......to sort your own self out....so that you can make the kinds of decisions about your life that you need to....
You will be the one who decides what you can live with and what you can't......what kind of life you need.....what you need t thrive (not just exist)......and what your limits are for intolerable behaviors in others (boundaries).
My main suggestion to you is this: Get all the help you can/learn all you can. This road is too difficult to walk alone....
I hope you are willing to hang around.....lol..
The fact of your own recovery from alcoholism does mean one thing----that your own sobriety trumps everything else...(and I know that you already know that).....
dandylion