Originally Posted by
bblackbirdflyy 
Thanks for this Dee. Whenever I get a little sober time I reflect on the idiocy that was my drinking career. It always makes me feel like a lousy human being. I'm not there yet... but you are right, someday (especially if I succeed in sobriety) I will have to forgive myself. There is light on the horizon and I don't have to feel bad about myself forever.
You are NOT a lousy human being! You are a good person with an addiction....we ALL are. It's easy for me to say that but to be honest, I am going to have to do a lot of work to forgive myself too.
My sponsor always tells me I am not a bad person trying to be good, I am a sick person trying to get well. She also reminds me of how special I am and the fact that I am working on getting better is HUGE. The majority of alcoholics and addicts don't take the step the we are all taking...so I'm saying the same thing to you. :-)