Hi Reiki:
I am also the mother of an alcoholic, mentally ill adult child. My daughter is 22 and she has been grappling with her alcohol addiction for months. (detox, counsellors, AA meetings)
She managed to get to six weeks sober and then a lot of manic and psychotic behaviour started. She started talking about going back to drinking. I took her to the regional hospital and they were concerned enough about her recent behaviour to commit her to the psych ward. The psychiatrist in emergency said it sounded like she might be bi-polar. Right now she in in the psych ward for at least two weeks so I am feeling a huge sense of relief because I know she will be safe as long as she is in there.
I fully understand your feelings. It is so hard to cope with the fear, worry, and the daily challenge of living with a child who is going through this. Something I do is to visualize a loving angel watching over my daughter. I think of this as her higher power. I tell myself "her higher power is taking care of her". This gives me a lot of comfort when I know she is in dangerous situations.
I am very thankful for Alanon. I go to two or three different meetings a week and I read the literature and practice the slogans and prayers. I also use the telephone lists a lot! I also visit these boards as much as possible. The people here offer good advice, wisdom, and kindness.
As far as a sponsor goes, I would advise that you give it to your higher power. By this I mean, ask your higher power to bring the right sponsor to you. I have been handing over a lot of my troubles to my higher power lately, and it seems to be working for me, so I hope it will work for you too.
Love and blessings to you and your son. This dual disease can be treated. The fact that our children are young (age 22), and with the new medications and therapies out there, I believe there is a lot of hope.
Robin