Dimndaruf......I can absolutely understand how shocked and dismayed you and your father were.....to hear that, spontaneously, come out of a 6yr. old.
to my way of looking at it...you have every right, as a parent, and, as a mother to discuss what may be good or bad for a child that you are both co-parenting.
That is one of the most important parts of parenting.....trying to be o n the same page in regard to child-rearing.....
As a wife....If I had ever seen lewd pictures of women on my husband's cellphone....you can be sure that I would consider it a ground swelling event.....
You expressed your thoughts......and, you are working on not stuffing your thoughts, opinions and emotions......
It is not like you became a screaming lunatic. Aaaand, you did it all within the context of the unsavory effects that it is having on your son.....
The fact that you live in such fear of your husband's reatctions.....It sounds like this relationship is having a negative effect on you, as well......
To my view....this had nothing to do with directing your husband's recovery....but, but, your concern about the influenses in your son's environment.
I don't know your husband. If you are fearing that he may become abusive with you......then that has to be taken into consideration....(for your own safety and self care).
If it is that he simply will be "angry" or disgruntled or embarrassed......then, that is his problem...and his to deal with......
You can't control what this man does.....he is who he is.....he is going to do what he is going to do.
The question, for you, is.....what are YOU going to do.
You will have to decide how much you want to detach from him....only discuss as much as you want to discuss....and, also, where and when you ever choose to discuss it. If he tries to make a scene.....Just leave room, or the house....or put on your headphones....or go clean the bathroom...(you get the picture).....
fireSprite's suggestion of short, direct statements is always a good idea.
If he has been abusive in the past or you fear it now.....it becomes a different matter in how you handle it....
****Remember that he is one person with one opinion, only....he is not more important than you....
He is not king of the Forest.....
dandylion