Ok. This is going to be a long one. I apologize ahead of time, but I need to vent.
I went to the bank with my significant other. We are divorced, but we reconciled a little over a year ago, but we are not re-married. When we were going over financials at the bank, I learned he has a lot more credit card debt than I knew about. I was quite surprised. It would take some fanangling to be able to buy a house right now. For one loan, I would have to borrow money from family. For another loan, we would have to get re-married to qualify. I was entertaining the thought of getting re-married, but when we left the bank he said a few things that really didn't go over well with me. When I asked him about the credit card debt, he said it was him travelling back to Memphis to take care of our son while I was in rehab 2 years ago. He blamed it on me. Taking 30 days paid vacation and having all your accommodations paid for while you're there doesn't amount to thousands of dollars in debt years later, buddy. I said my take away from the bank was that now is just not the right time for us to buy. I said I was feeling upset but that I was not going to go home and drink a bottle of wine like I used to, and I will have 2 months sober on saturday. His response: "I haven't drank in 2 months either". He's not a pill popping, pot smoking heroin addict turned alcoholic that has battled back from the depths of depravity so he doesn't get it, but I wasn't expecting him to shift the conversation right back to himself. It hurt my feelings, but I didnt make a big deal of it. I left and went and got boots that I'll need for work tomorrow because at this point all I know is to not drink and keep working hard. It's like sometimes I get smacked with some s**t, and I don't like that feeling, but it's what I need to happen to bring me back to reality and let me know what I'm really working with. It doesnt mean things won't work out in the future, but it was crystal clear to me that besides staying sober, I'm not ready to make life changing decisions right now. So, disappointing trip to the bank, but I think it was good for me.