Awesome Amp..thank you for sharing!
Fradkey, I thank you too!
Morning everyone!
I feel better this morning. Had a big talk with my trucker. A lot of my problems are stemming from our relationship. For 20 years he did the same thing everyday. I knew where he was. We were on a time schedule for everything. Even when I did weekend gigs and was gone, I knew where he was etc. Now he's gone a lot and on the road. Physically and emotionally he is unavailable to me. Also the invention of the cell phone and texting has made me a bit of a crazy person at times. To an extent I think that's an addiction too. Mine is mild, but I see my young adult daughter and the struggles she's been through with texting and social media.
Anyway so much of the time I need to hear that I matter, I'm important, I'm missed, I'm wanted. So much of the time he does great with that. As of lately he has shut me out (2 weeks now) and I couldn't understand or figure out why. I've been telling him about every day something had changed and I'm trying to understand why. We had a huge talk last night and hopefully things will get back on track.
Point being, instead of me looking for some big reward, or a spot called happiness, I guess happiness exists as we discover it in the things of our new lives. Again this is new for me. I don't believe I had true happiness before. It was a false sense of that feeling. I have experienced it, and I will keep reminding myself to allow it to appear. I must quit forcing so much and just let things happen. Ohhhhh what a control freak I am! Sheesh. It creeps back in on me and BAM! There it is!
Think I'll blog about this new found information. Man! You people are so awesome and smart! Thank you for all your insight. You have no idea how much you help me with your honesty! (Hug)!