TakingCharge.....there is a book..."The Saber-Toothed Tiger"...which addresses this very question, that you asked.
The therapist that wrote the book maintains that it doesn't matter how l ong one waits between relationships....or, even, necessarily, how well they function outside of their intimate relationships.....the same issues will bubble to the surface one one enters an intimate relationship......
I think you might enjoy the book (very easy to read).....as I think y ou might find that it would resonate, in many ways, with you.
dandylion