TimeForMe.........it sounds like you are grieving the loss of the marriage (finally).
This is a necessary process that can't be avoided.
In order to heal....we must, first, grieve....
grieving hurts....it just does....it is like a kaleidoscope of feelings that hurt down deep into the soul....
Have faith, dear one.....it will gradually become lighter and lighter.....
don't give up on yourself.....just know that it is a necessary short-term pain for the long-term gain......
Now is the time to be with those who love you and those who understand your pain as much as possible......
It will not always feel like this......have faith that you will laugh and have joy, again.....
dandylion