Originally Posted by
TimeForMe 
He's then been saying things like, "How can you just throw away the past 18 years? How can it be too late? Don't you miss me? Don't you like the person I am right now? If we get divorced, I'll never be able to see you again, is that what you really want?" Blah blah blah. It's been really bothering me because those are the logical questions I've been asking myself and I'm having a hard time separating the emotion of the situation from logic.
It never occurred to me that quacking can happen when someone is not drinking! And just like that...clarity. I'm done.
It's time to figure out who I am. I just realized that when I started this account back in 2008, I picked the username TimeForMe. It's sad that it's taken me this long to realize that it IS time for me.
Better late than never, no?
It is better late than never. Please go easy on yourself. It's a difficult journey, and we all struggle. Take care of yourself. Find what will bring you happiness in your life. You're worth it. The words I write to you are the same words I am telling myself to do, too.
I recently decided to take a step back from my marriage (separation) and focus on myself. This past weekend, my husband said to me: "You are putting the marriage in grave peril. This is your choice. You made this decision." *sigh* Forget what led me to the decision. I did point this out to him.
And yes, there can still be quacking in sobriety especially when the hard work to understand what led to the alcoholism isn't yet addressed. My husband was 9 months sober. He had a couple of recent slips. We have been in marriage counseling since March. Oh my gosh. The continued rationalizations, blame shifting, deflections... What I truly think happened. It was there all along. I just didn't see it. Or, see it as clearly as I do now. The blinders finally came off. I am working on mastering the art of detachment. Slowly, I might add.
Hang in there. It's a difficult decision to make. I completely understand.